I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
