We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
