Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
