she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
