I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
