Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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