Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
