now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
