It's Friday. Sex?
I puked a lego.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
