did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
