Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
