the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
