I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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