Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
