How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
