i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
