yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
