Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
