u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
ok first of all what the fuck
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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