you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
