hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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