Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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