I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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