Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize