I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
