p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
