Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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