Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
