Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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