The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
