I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
