why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
