hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
