3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
