people are starting to question the shark bite story
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
