I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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