I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
