New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
