i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
