I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
