Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
