You're my little dorito
My cat gives me a boner
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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