Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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