PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
