The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
