I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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