she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
