Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
