I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
