Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
