weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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