You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
