If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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