very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
