Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
