Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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