My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
